Top “Celebrities” I Hate

I was having a discussion about reality TV with someone the other day, and about how stupid it is.  You want reality?  Go outside.  In the title of this entry I put celebrities in quotes for a reason, because the celebrities I’m about to mention are really famous for no reason.  They’re all really useless too.  If any of them fell off the face of the earth, I don’t think anyone or anything would be affected.

This list isn’t in a specific order, this is just who I thought of first.

1. Kate Gosselin: Fucking bitch is exploiting her kids for a large profit.  She’s not attractive, so it’s not really surprising her husband cheated.  And you know how you can just look at someone and know they’re a complete bitch without ever interacting with them?  Yeah, she’s one of those.  I don’t understand the appeal of the show either.

2. The Kardashian Sisters: They’re famous because their Dad was a kick ass lawyer.  I highly doubt they have ever worked physically hard a day in their life and will never know the value of a buck.

3. Paris Hilton: Famous for the same reason as the Kardashians.  The shining definition of a dumb blonde.  If you ever hear her speak, your IQ will begin dropping at an exponential rate.

4. Tila Tequila: The original Myspace whore.

5. Holly Madison, Bridget Matquardt, Kendra Wilkinson: Famous because they could afford enough plastic surgery to be Hef’s girlfriends.  Whatever happened to the day when truly hot women did playboy spreads and not any bitch who had breast implants?

What kills me more than how useless the aforementioned people are is why people give a fuck about what they do.  Why do you care if the 5th Gosselin child fell down?  Is your life changed by one of the Kardashian sisters getting knocked up?  NO.  Here’s a quote from one of my favorite musicians, Rob Lind of Blood for Blood, that sums this all up nicely.

Whenever I come across one of those “reality” based T.V. shows (on the rare day I have the stomach to click on my T.V. at all) such as MTV’s “Real World”, and I see all those beautiful, silly, elitist babies on the screen cavorting self-importantly through the irrelevant passion plays they construct for themselves and more importantly when I envision the millions of slack-jawed zombies drooling raptly at their screens transfixed by the antics of those human effigies, I can understand why Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned.